New Roads

The end of January brought with it a very unexpected surprise. Ivan, my husband of 42 years, died the evening of Jan. 29th. He lost his leg in 1995, but he seemed to be in relatively good health. Still, there were signs the last few months that I tried to point out to him, but he went into a state of denial about it. I knew better than to argue with him about it. I won't go into the details here. If you are interested in knowing "the rest of the story," please go to my blog and read all about it.

Uncertain about what my future held, with the death of not only my husband but also that of the furnace and the plumbing in the very old mobile home we had lived in for 27 years, I knew another change had to happen. I toyed with the idea of moving into an apartment in Grand Forks, ND, where we had lived since 1971. I had a lot of friends there, and our daughter lived there, although both of our sons have opted for taking up residence in the balmy southland.

The Internet is an amazing discovery! I had friends from across the country, literally, who invited me to move near them, some of them even offering to let me stay with them until I found a place of my own to rent or to help me find an apartment before I got there. I appreciate all of them. I hate having to make decisions!

My good friend, Billie Williams, whom I met on the Internet in common e-groups we belonged to, had invited us (Ivan and me) to come live next door to them. She and her husband Tom had bought the house next door to them, and it was sitting there empty, seemingly just waiting for us to move in. Ivan refused, saying "But this is home." Looking back at it now (isn't hindsight wonderful?) I realize that he probably was afraid he wasn't strong enough to make the move. He was probably right. But now he was gone, and Billie asked me "What is stopping you from coming here now?" I didn't have a good answer!

Let me back up just a bit and give you some background on the friendship that had developed between Billie and me by that time. I knew from the start that she was a woman I greatly admired and respected. Not only did she write awesome books (you can see all about her at her website by clicking on her picture above), but she was looking for exposure for her books when we first "met" and I was hosting a weekly mystery chat at that time. It was quite popular, and I had some big name authors like Carol Higgins Clark who had been on the chat. Billie turned me down cold! Why? Her husband was driving semis on long-hauls, and that was the time he called her every evening. She would not forfeit that time with her husband, not even for a chance to promote her books! I knew, from that moment on, this was a woman who deserved the utmost respect. And from then on, our friendship grew, first through e-mails, then later on the almost daily phone calls we exchanged.

Unsure of what to do, I ran the idea of my moving to Amberg, WI, to the house next door to Billie and Tom by all three of our kids. I knew it had to be the right move for me. It was the first thing I could remember that all three of them agreed on immediately! So, the plans were set in motion.

It was a terribly hard thing for me to go through all of Ivan's belongings, trying to decide which things should go to which of the kids, which should be donated to Good Will, which should be tossed, and which ones I should keep. It seemed like each item I picked up was a little piece of him. I cried as I tenderly handled some of them, and I laughed at others. I felt him watching me, and I could almost hear him ask, "Now do you see why I said we couldn't move? I couldn't have done that." Thanks, sweetheart! I had to do it--alone!

Then came Billie's great interference. Tom was retiring in mid-April, so she set a deadline. Billie and I could hash over our plans till the cows came home, but I was dumbfounded when Tom seemed to be almost as excited about my moving out there as we were. "We will come to get you on April 20. On the 21st we will load the U-Haul and on the 22nd we will head for Wisconsin--with you in the truck with us." I had no choice. I had to finish the tasks at hand. It was a good thing. Procrastination is such a great defense, and now I knew it wasn't one I could use.

And so the move was completed. The house is like my own little dollhouse, although it really isn't that small. I feel like I am a little girl all over again, and I get to "play house" in my very own place. I even have my very own office, with room for all of my books to be displayed, my computer desk beside a nice window instead of in front of it, blocking the sunlight. It was so exciting to picture where everything belonged that I had finished unpacking and putting everything away in five days! Not bad for an old lady! One of these days I will get some pictures added to a page on my website, so stay tuned.

So, my old life is behind me. What remains are the memories. Mission Socorro will continue to operate, but many of the cries for help are now coming through the Internet and Mission Socorro's website. (Click on the picture of Ivan and me above to get to the website.) But an exciting new life is just beginning. Billie and Tom Williams, best friends extraordinaire, went not only the second mile to get me here; they went the five-hundred-and-forty-second mile to rescue me. Words fail to express my gratitude to them.

My heartfelt thanks also go to all of my other wonderful friends, both "real life" and "electronic," who have been so incredibly supportive to me as I walk a new path. I couldn't have done it without all of you.